There’s one thing I’ve learned from living through this political campaign:  You can’t be too careful with whom you associate, especially if you have ever entertained the prospect of running for political office.
Up to this point in time, I had never considered the notion that I could be a star on the political horizon until watching a virtual unknown become an overnight sensation in this campaign.
Heck! She started out being PTA president and then moved right on up to being the Mayor of Wasilia. If she can do it, I certainly can.
Of course, she had foreign policy experience, what with living so close to Russia and all. I certainly can’t brag that I can see Russia from my back porch, but here in the Western Maryland mountainous Town of Westernport, I can see the moon from the bow window in my living room. Doesn’t that give me intragalactical experience?
You betcha!
Thinking about having a political future does give one pause. For instance: Casually speaking to a neighbor down the street could be misconstrued as “paling around with them,” and you never know when someone might be standing behind a tree with a cell phone camera.
My neighbors all seem to be nice people but then again they could secretly be past members of some subversive organization such as the D.A.R.  They may even have written fan letters to Jim Cantore, who everyone knows is the Leader of the Weathermen. I too, have been an admirer of Mr. Cantore in the past, although I try keeping such opinions to myself.
You just can’t be too careful!
Even shopping at the local grocery store can bring you into contact with all sorts of people who could be detrimental to your political future. The person you are chatting with in the checkout line could have plenty of secrets in their past, known only to the National Inquirer. All it takes is one nosy person in the next aisle who remembers you having a conversation with this person. Pretty soon the whole world knows that you have been cavorting with undesirables.
Once you announce that you’re running for political office, your religious background can also be scrutinized closely. As a member of a Protestant church, I can’t picture anyone finding fault, especially with a Presbyterian. We are, after all, God’s Chosen People. Then again our church has had a lot of guest speakers since the minister departed a year ago. It’s entirely possible that one of those people we innocently invited to speak may have made a derogatory remark 30 years ago at a tent revival that could come back to haunt me. Political candidates are supposed to know all and see all about the people they associate with, even once in their lives.
Right? 
I don’t think I’ll have any trouble with my name, although Barbara Elaine does kind of sound like Barack Hussein. Thank God my late husband’s family dropped the O from Murphy before leaving Ireland!
Ireland! There’s another thing I have to worry about. We all know that The Mother Land has had its share of terrorists. In the nine years that I was married to him, I don’t remember Murphy mentioning that any of his ancestors had served time in prison back in Ireland, but then again, it’s not exactly a topic of conversation that makes for cozy pillow talk.
Wow! I just remembered that in his prime, Murphy was the president of the “Oregon Chapter of Vietnam Vets Against The War!”   I hate to do it, but I may have to go back to using my maiden name. After all, when it comes to politics, nothing is sacred; especially one’s moniker.
I’ve already decided on a trademark to use at my campaign rallies. Sarah Palin used a wink. I am going to strategically raise my right eyebrow when I want to make a political point. Sarcastic, but sexy at the same time, what do you think?  By golly, that otta do it!
I only hope that my friends will understand if I run a security check on them. After all, I have my political future to think about and you just can’t be too careful when you’ve got one eye on the media and the other one on the White House.
Don’t laugh.  It could happen!